Parenting

Last night Shelby and I went to a friend's house for supper. During the course of the evening, two of the children needed correcting. My friend dealt with it swiftly and with love. I commented to her that I loved the way she disciplined her children. On the way home, Shelby said, "so mom, you like the way Miss --- disciplines?" I said yes and proceeded to explain why. This lead to a discussion about the different ways parents discipline or don't discipline their children. She then asked the one thousand dollar question: "Mom, who taught you how to parent?"
That question left me a bit speechless. I fumbled around a little, and then just basically said that I read some parenting books, prayed a LOT, and used some of my training as a teacher.

I kept pondering on the question. Who did teach me how to parent? Our parents are suppose to be the ones who teach us. But what if their 'teaching' was lacking because they, themselves were not taught properly? My parents where not Ozzie and Harriet Nelson or was it like Leave it to Beaver. Things were hard. But in retrospect, I now know they did the best they could. They themselves had rotten childhoods and did not have good parenting examples. So I totally have NO fault with them. But before I had children, I did resolve that I would do things differently when I was the mom. (disclaimer, I in no way mean any disrespect to my parents..as I stated earlier, they did the best they could considering how they were raised and the problems they had to deal with.)

I resolved to break the cycle when I became a parent. I read parenting books written by Charles Swindol, Dr. Dobson, and others. I watched the parents of the children I babysat. I observed how they dealt with certain situations. But honestly, NOTHING prepares you for the day when they put that screaming new born in your arms and say "congratulations mom". Mom. Oh crap. What have I gotten myself into! Am I really ready for the responsibility? That is when the cries of desperation began to go heavenward. I prayed constantly. Cried some too. But one thing I learned in all my reading and observing is that you have to stay consistent. Do not give in. Teach them right from wrong and then stick with it. Deal with situations as swiftly as the situation allows. Sometimes taking a breather before disciplining is necessary in some situations. Never look the other way because you are too tired. Those early years are hard years, but if you stay consisitent, it will pay off.

My own daughter is 17 1/2. Most likely she will be a mom within 10 years. She will embark on her own parenting adventure. I only hope that she has had a decent example. I know I did not do everything right; I have made plenty of mistakes. But I hope she can take something I have taught her and apply it to her own parenting style.