time

They say time heals all wounds. I use to think that was such a stupid saying. For some wounds seem to be too severe to ever close up and heal. I thought I had such a wound.

About 3 years and 1 month ago, all hell broke loose in my family. To protect the innocent, details are being ommitted. But suffice it to say, life in our family would never be the same. Due to the circumstances, I had to cut all ties with my mother. This was not an easy decision. You see, up to this point, we had a pretty decent relationship. Perhaps a bit dysfuntional, but it was all I knew and had. We talked constantly. Always calling several times a day. Sometimes I would just call to tell her something as stupid as the latest cat escapade. And she would do the same.

But that all ended abruptly. I cut ties, she left town, and I have not heard from her in over 3 years.

The first 6 months were the hardest. I cried daily. Not only for her, but b/c of the aftermath of the situation I had to deal with here at home and with other family members. The situation was on my mind constantly. As months turned into years, I eventually thought of her less often.

And to my surprise, hadnt thought about her for a while until last night.

Last night the dreams returned. In the early days of her abandonment, the dreams came quite often; usually me sceaming at her: why? why did you chose him? why didnt you chose us?

Last night, after I awoke from having that horrid dream, I realized it had been a while since I had dreamed about her or thought about the situation that drove her from our lives. I guess a mothers day commercial I saw on tv triggered the dream.

While it still hurts, I guess the saying has a bit of truth to it; time has healed the wound. I carry around a fresh scar, but it is healing none the less.