Family

Nothing can bring out the worst in you like a big family gathering. Most family gatherings last a day, maybe two. But no. Not mine. Mine lasted 4 long days and nights. Everyone FINALLY cleared out by 10 am Sunday. Things did not go as well as I had hoped. Maybe I expected Norman Rockwell...and well, what I got was Jerry Springer. On Wednesday, the first wave of family arrived; my saintly grandma, whom I love VERY much, my Aunt Donnie, her daughter in law, daughter and 2 grandchildren; my other cousins Jesse and David and my Uncle Laten (brother to Aunt Donnnie) That went ok. Other than the 2 month old baby crying all during the night EVERY night, it was fine. oh and the 2yr old walking around making spills and rearranging the christmas tree, yea, it was fine. Grandma helped me cook the big, yummy Thanksgiving meal. Dad was in the hospital from Tuesday through Friday, so he missed a lot of the, um, fun.
BUT the true fun began Friday night when my brothers showed up. YES. IN case you are keeping count...that was 9 more people in an already crowded house. Things got ugly at that point. You see, my bachelor brother found him a girl friend. and well, lets just say, she would never make it in a Norman Rockwell painting. More like a Jerry Springer sound bite.
She brought with her two daughters and a 9 month old god-son. She refused to eat the entire time she was here. In fact Friday night, she left and got a motel room. Fine. I can certainly understand that. I may have done the same thing. She returned Saturday AFTER my Florida relatives left. So the rest of the weekend, it was just me, dad, my brothers and their families.
Without going into a lot of family gossip, suffice it to say, things did not go well. She and my brother did not like it when I said they could not share a bed (they are unmarried). They didnt like it when I asked them to stop groping and kissing(deep kissing) in front of the children and me. And I certainly did not enjoy seeing her boobies and all her tats. If I wanted to see that much boob, I'd go buy me a playboy or just stand in front of the mirror and lift my shirt.
I mean, really, why put a shirt on if you are going to let your girls hang out for all to see. A waste of good material if you ask me.
Oh so much more went on...but I just dont have the strenght of heart to hash it out here.
My heart truly hurts. I am a people pleaser. I love having people over and playing the hostess. I want people to feel welcomed in my home. This is the first time I have regretted inviting someone, and the first time someone has refused my hospitality, disrespected my house 'rules' and basically said they didnt want to become to begin with and will never return again.
So, there, ya go.
THey are all gone.,
I have cleaned my house from top to bottom, washed all sheets, towels and rugs. My house is back in order.
The next time I start feeling lonely, and feeling sorry for myself, I am going to remember this weekend and enjoy my solitary life.

Civility

Sometimes I just don't understand people. I use to joke about how I wasn't an animal person, and was barely a people person. Sadly, for me, there is a little truth in that. Sometimes I just like my solitude. Maybe a little too much. I could go days without speaking to anyone and would be perfectly content. Of course, that is selfish, I know. So, I force myself to interact with human-kind. And my, how trying we humans can be. I am the type of pathetic personality that wants everyone to like her. Well, actually, I dont care if you like me, I just dont want you to NOT like me...lol. Relationships can be a fickle thing; and honestly, sometimes I just don't have the strentgh or energy to try to figure out what this person, or that person is thinking. I try to do my best to put other's first, but dang it all, can't I be first sometimes? And there's the crux of the problem. PUTTING others first. It is tiring, but at times what we have to do. Right now, I am in a situation where I just want to tell a few people (none of you, by the way) to shut the crap up, quit your dang whining and complaining, suck it up and just stinking DEAL with it. But no, I can't do that. I just have to take a deep breath, smile, and try to be sincerely pleasant.

Oh solitude, sweet, sweet solitude!

I know not everyone is going to like us. And I know we cant please everyone. But dang it, why not? Why cant we just all get along and like each other? lol Life is hard enough. Why add to the burden by being rude, unforgiving, and sometimes just plain unlovable.

I honestly just want to be the type of person who loves honestly, faithfully, and with servitude. That is hard to do, I know....I would much rather stay holed up in my house and not ever have to interact, but then that would not be very beneficial or civil. Selfishness, yea, sometimes it can be very appealing. Solitude anyone?