Voting

Today, I exercised my American privilege and voted for our next president. This is the 6th presidential election that I have voted in. Never before have I felt such strong emotion about two very different candidates. As I put an X in the box next to my chosen candidate, my eyes became filled with tears. Thankfully, none spilled out, boy that would have been hard to explain. Why the tears? Honestly, I don't know. I guess because I am so worried that the wrong person will get elected. And if He does, I am afraid for our country. While I didn't really prefer any of those running, I have strong opposition to one in particular and am worried about what will become of my beloved America should he take office.

But, there is not much I can do but vote, pray, pray, and pray some more.

Don't forget to go vote on Tuesday!

Memories

This past week, my one and only child turned 17! Yes, 17. While I am very proud of her, my heart was a wee bit sad. She is a junior in high school; which means NEXT year, she will be a senior!! And just all grown up. Where has the time gone? Every year, around her birthday, I pulled out all the baby albums, and albums from her childhood. This year was no different. As I looked at her baby pictures, I was trying to recall what it actually felt like to hold her in my arms, what she smelled like after a bath, and the sound of her first laugh. As I moved on to the toddler years, you know what I remembered? The good times, not the tantrums, or the dirty house, or how funds were tight. No, I remembered her running through the house laughing. I remember her sitting in her booster seat at the table asking , "no supper tonight mommy?"(I had been cleaning all afternoon, and did not realize that the supper hour had come and gone) I remember her sitting in her room talking to dolls and telling them to be good little girls and take a nap.

As I moved through the albums, more and more memories flooded my mind. Towards the end, I began to realize that while we may not have had all the luxuries in life, and while she may not have had a father in her life, she had a pretty good child hood, and she has turned out to be a pretty good girl. Oh, we have had some rocky moments during these teen years, but overall, she is a great girl. And I am proud to call her mine.

Beauty of Life

Life is precious.
Life is fragile.
Life is taken for granted.
Life is misused.
Life is a gift.
Life is sweet.
Life is hard.
Life is sometimes wasted.
Life is created.
Life is to be treasured.
Life can be a mystery.
Life can be a prize.
Life...............
what will you do with yours?

Choices

Everyday we are faced with choices. Most are made without thinking. We start our journey to work/school, and pull in the parking lot not even conscience of the redlights we went through and turns we made. Our brain just went on auto-pilot.
All day long we are faced with choices: Should I cuss out the person who cut in front of me in traffic........ should I hold the door open for the older person right behind me....should I smile at the person walking by......should I lie or be honest......should I give back the $10 that the cashier accidentally gave me.....
Choices surround us all the time. Some are more dramatic than others.
Take belief for example. Do you choose to believe in God? Most are quick to say yes. But really? do you? do you really believe there is someone who really cares about you? Truly loves you unconditionally? Actually cares about what you are going through? This has been a struggle for me recently. If you were to ask me several years ago this question, I would have said, YES!!!! OH YEs, there is a God. But lately, I have struggeled. I admit that this brings me a bit of shame and embarrassment. But sometimes in the darkest of night, in my innermost being, I feel completly and utterly alone. At times the void is so vast and deep, I cant imagine some all knowing being actually giving a hoot about my mediocre life. But yet, the other part of me hopes that He is there. Because if He is not there, that makes the dark even darker. The hopelessness even more hopeless. The loneliness even more lonely.
A few weeks ago, it hit me. DUH. Belief in God is a choice that I have to make. I have to choose that He exists. I have to choose to believe that He loves me. I have to choose to walk towards Him and embrace him.
Its not always easy. LIfe is hard. But, how much harder it would be if I did not choose to believe in HIM.