Sometimes I just don't understand people. I use to joke about how I wasn't an animal person, and was barely a people person. Sadly, for me, there is a little truth in that. Sometimes I just like my solitude. Maybe a little too much. I could go days without speaking to anyone and would be perfectly content. Of course, that is selfish, I know. So, I force myself to interact with human-kind. And my, how trying we humans can be. I am the type of pathetic personality that wants everyone to like her. Well, actually, I dont care if you like me, I just dont want you to NOT like me...lol. Relationships can be a fickle thing; and honestly, sometimes I just don't have the strentgh or energy to try to figure out what this person, or that person is thinking. I try to do my best to put other's first, but dang it all, can't I be first sometimes? And there's the crux of the problem. PUTTING others first. It is tiring, but at times what we have to do. Right now, I am in a situation where I just want to tell a few people (none of you, by the way) to shut the crap up, quit your dang whining and complaining, suck it up and just stinking DEAL with it. But no, I can't do that. I just have to take a deep breath, smile, and try to be sincerely pleasant.
Oh solitude, sweet, sweet solitude!
I know not everyone is going to like us. And I know we cant please everyone. But dang it, why not? Why cant we just all get along and like each other? lol Life is hard enough. Why add to the burden by being rude, unforgiving, and sometimes just plain unlovable.
I honestly just want to be the type of person who loves honestly, faithfully, and with servitude. That is hard to do, I know....I would much rather stay holed up in my house and not ever have to interact, but then that would not be very beneficial or civil. Selfishness, yea, sometimes it can be very appealing. Solitude anyone?
2 comments:
Oh, honey, I hear ya. I've had such a bad atitude about others for about two weeks....but I don't care for solitude, exactly (although a nice bubblebath alone is nice). I like to vent to someone I can trust and just be as ugly as I feel at the moment. Then I feel better and I can move on. Sounds like you like to process in your head more, which is probably better than my style of screaming obscenities and wishing people ill fates.
*Sigh* Ah, flesh.
Unfortunately, I process it internally. And right now, I think I have made myself physically sick. The situation is making me ill. And I hate it. I dont know why it is bothering me so badly. And just with I could LET IT go. I feel like it is somehow my fault, and honestly, I have soul searched,and I dont think it is. **sigh** oh well.
And a bubble bath sounds heavenly about now...think I may go do that!
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